I'm sitting in the airport right now waiting on my flight that was technically should have taken off 5 minutes ago. Unfortunately for me, my flight is 2 hours and 45 minutes delayed so I'll be waiting around for another 2 hours or so.
Saying goodbye to my family was really hard for me this time around. When I said goodbye to my parents and sister, tears were actually streaming down my face. Even when I left for Semester at Sea I didn't cry the way I did today. I guess it's because I had my friends Sam and Jon traveling by my side. This time around, I'm going to be all alone in a foreign country with only a single acquaintance living there. But he doesn't even live in or near Rio, so it doesn't exactly do me much help.
If you're wondering what I'm feeling right now-- it's fear. I'm scared shitless. But I'm also really... wondrous. I can't stop wondering what my life is going to be like for the next 5.5 months of my life. And I've spent the last 3 days trying to talk myself out of these emotions. I've tried to suppress them. When people have asked me about how I've been feeling, I really just was acting non-chalant. I didn't focus on the details, kind of just said the words to those who asked without internalizing what it all meant. The truth of the matter is I'm going to a place where I know not a single person and I don't know how to deal with that.
I have to believe that when I get there I'm going to be fine. I mean, I did CIRCUMNAVIGATE THE GLOBE. And I do draw strength from that experience. But this will change and grow me in a way unlike any other.
One of the life lessons that I've learned in my limited 20 years is that the harder the challenge, the more intense the growth. The harder something is for us, the better the person we will become at the end of it all. So I'm going to remember that and enjoy my pre-trip nerves, because once I'm there, I'll probably laugh at myself about them.
Wish me Boa Viagem--
Anthony
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